Deciding to Walk the Walk

Those times we all have. The mind starts churning at 4 am. By 5 am I was determined not to let my mind be the bearer of heavy words any longer on my vulnerable morning self, so I went down to beach. I took my phone and a speaker with intentions to dance.

When I got to the beach, there was no one there at all. I walked along the cliff top and felt my fear of going onto the beach alone. My vulnerability. It occurred to me, if I couldn't even be alone on the beach how could I ever possibly manage anything like walking a pilgrimage. So I went down. Diving into exploring fearlessness.

Of course, when I got there, I was fine. I was safe.

I was experiencing one of those times of feeling lost and self detrimental... an invitation for another breakthrough.

Choosing to step out of living in a conventional way in society, this year has been about constantly moving, inner and outer landscapes of my daily existence. I feel deep into the motions of life and am letting my sensitive self awaken and live more and more.

So on this morning, I gave myself to the sea with my dance. I put on my music and journeyed into the simplicity of being present on the beach that morning. Dancing, playing and moving the sand. I asked the flowing waters, the morning air and went deep inside. "What do I need to do before the end of this year?" The answer was immediate ... "Walk the way of the pilgrimage". Immediate sense of purpose came in to me. I felt that the decision to do this was beyond my mind thinking it could be a good idea.

Then, as the waters flowed and my dance continued, the idea of sharing the journey as a work of art came. It felt right to let the art continue a journey beyond the end of the pilgrimage. The final destination will be as each piece of art arrives with the people who chose to come with me as Page Pilgrims, and this is all over the world.

My art is very much about sharing the experience with others. I hope that what I do inspires others in some way to reflect on their lives and explore their inner and outer landscapes.

Life is for living and yes, I feel the fear of embarking on this journey as I walk alone. My journey of self discovery over the last 10 years has been incredible when I look back at it. When I returned to England from living in France I was completely broken. When I felt a victim of what people seemed to have been doing to me, I stood up and realised it was me who had to change. Only I had to do the work on myself to stop attracting destruction and pain in my life, I had to find my way back to my home within. From constant adjusting, believing I was not good enough, believing that others knew best for me, suppressing my true and sensitive self, (conditioning and brainwashing of society not helping this either), I had learned not to feel my instincts any more. And now? Well, I have learned to walk the path of self love so that I can feel the authenticity of my life. I am still learning, and I am work in progress as always, but I have a lot of love in my life and I feel that I am returning to feel my true 'wild' essence of healthy woman.

And so I will walk. Not to find myself, but to imprint new steps onto my authentic path. I walk with gratitude for everyone who has come into my life, I see them as teachers for things I have had to learn to find my way back to my soul home and authentic way of being. My heart is open to life and my self.

To join me on my journey you can buy an original page from the artist diary and become a Page Pilgrim.

Click here to become a Page Pilgrim