Deciding to Walk the Walk

Those times we all have. The mind starts churning at 4 am. By 5 am I was determined not to let my mind be the bearer of heavy words any longer on my vulnerable morning self, so I went down to beach. I took my phone and a speaker with intentions to dance.

When I got to the beach, there was no one there at all. I walked along the cliff top and felt my fear of going onto the beach alone. My vulnerability. It occurred to me, if I couldn't even be alone on the beach how could I ever possibly manage anything like walking a pilgrimage. So I went down. Diving into exploring fearlessness.

Of course, when I got there, I was fine. I was safe.

I was experiencing one of those times of feeling lost and self detrimental... an invitation for another breakthrough.

Choosing to step out of living in a conventional way in society, this year has been about constantly moving, inner and outer landscapes of my daily existence. I feel deep into the motions of life and am letting my sensitive self awaken and live more and more.

So on this morning, I gave myself to the sea with my dance. I put on my music and journeyed into the simplicity of being present on the beach that morning. Dancing, playing and moving the sand. I asked the flowing waters, the morning air and went deep inside. "What do I need to do before the end of this year?" The answer was immediate ... "Walk the way of the pilgrimage". Immediate sense of purpose came in to me. I felt that the decision to do this was beyond my mind thinking it could be a good idea.

Then, as the waters flowed and my dance continued, the idea of sharing the journey as a work of art came. It felt right to let the art continue a journey beyond the end of the pilgrimage. The final destination will be as each piece of art arrives with the people who chose to come with me as Page Pilgrims, and this is all over the world.

My art is very much about sharing the experience with others. I hope that what I do inspires others in some way to reflect on their lives and explore their inner and outer landscapes.

Life is for living and yes, I feel the fear of embarking on this journey as I walk alone. My journey of self discovery over the last 10 years has been incredible when I look back at it. When I returned to England from living in France I was completely broken. When I felt a victim of what people seemed to have been doing to me, I stood up and realised it was me who had to change. Only I had to do the work on myself to stop attracting destruction and pain in my life, I had to find my way back to my home within. From constant adjusting, believing I was not good enough, believing that others knew best for me, suppressing my true and sensitive self, (conditioning and brainwashing of society not helping this either), I had learned not to feel my instincts any more. And now? Well, I have learned to walk the path of self love so that I can feel the authenticity of my life. I am still learning, and I am work in progress as always, but I have a lot of love in my life and I feel that I am returning to feel my true 'wild' essence of healthy woman.

And so I will walk. Not to find myself, but to imprint new steps onto my authentic path. I walk with gratitude for everyone who has come into my life, I see them as teachers for things I have had to learn to find my way back to my soul home and authentic way of being. My heart is open to life and my self.

To join me on my journey you can buy an original page from the artist diary and become a Page Pilgrim.

Click here to become a Page Pilgrim

People Picking Pages

Yesterday I launched the 'Buy Pilgrimage Page' on my blog. 7 Page Pilgrims have joined me already with pages going to different place in the UK as well as Holland and Thailand ... I am colouring each number as they get bought ... I wonder where all the other pages will pilgrim around the planet. 

I find it interesting to see what pages are selling first ~ I wonder what will happen in the middle couple of weeks! Yikes! 

Join me for the walk and become a Page Pilgrim ~ click here

Creating In Truth

Today I am preparing for the launch of a new project, as well as updating my on-line presence ... this blog included.

I finished my MA in Illustration (cross pathways with Performance Art) at The Arts University Bournemouth last year and this picture below is from a performance presentation I was experimenting with. I just came across it again today and it reminded me of the journey that I am on at the moment. The journey into truth and living my authenticity. 

Part of taking time out this year has been to create space for my system after many years of intensive creative outpouring; to allow myself space to return to the source place of true creation. I have been pealing back the layers of my conditioning and looking deep into the patterns within my self. It has been an incredible journey so far. A journey that I realise started many many years ago when I first started on the path to learning about who I really am. Needless to say, art has played a profound part in this journey. And it continues...

... New work is emerging as I keep checking in with myself, 'Does this feel good? Does this feel right? What is my art work showing me? The journey is very important, so is the questioning as well as the reflection into the mirror of wisdom. With this all in the mix, new inspiration is coming. I have started writing my first novel, a new collection of illustrations is forming and a new project on the horizon.  

And so I relaunch my blog after a dormant time and look forward to the unveiling and unfurling of this new path of creation that is inviting me to authentically step into it, once again. 

Deep Diver Rhiannon

From a new collection of Goddess illustrations

She dives deep into the depths of the ocean, to find the pearls, 

choosing illumination and resurfacing in 

authentic transformation of the divine feminine power.

Witnessing these old dark, heavy wings falling from my body
Finding a way in the foggy programming of yesterdays schedule
Getting ready to leave, to take flight with new golden wings 
A gift from the pheonix in exchange for the shroud of solace
To fly high above the sunken clouds
Feeling lightness emerging softly
Letting go of trying to 'be' anything
Relaxing into the reality of just 'being'
Releasing the need to create
Anything other than space
For my heart to breathe
In truth, my truth
As it was always intended

New Website & New Work

Over the last 2 years I have been doing an MA in Illustration, crossing pathways with Contemporary Performance. Illustration and performance are both important parts of my practice as an artist and I have been exploring how I can blur the edges between these disciplines.

I have been looking deeply inward into what my work means to me and how I produce my art for public audiences. This has given me a greater understanding of who I am and what my work is about.

So I am taking this opportunity to share my work more publicly again for the first time and am pleased to be launching my new website soon. In the mean time here are a few images from current projects.

Logo Update

I thought it was about time for an image update.

I have been using this Hazel logo for over 10 years so it strongly represents my brand, however, like with everything, it is always good to have a refresh and a make-over.

Someone suggested putting it in a circle, and after some playing around I finally chose this one below.

Feeling happy with the new spruced look.